why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops