What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops