I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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25

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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