Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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