Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Potassium? K.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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sky silverstein

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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