What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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