Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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