Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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