why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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all these jokes are horrible now

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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