How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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i am predestal

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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a horse walks into a barn

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Hello

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops