Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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360 NO SCOPE

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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