Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

8

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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