Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops