Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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