What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops