Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I will create more jobs for americans

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops