Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops