Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Mormon walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops