What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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hashtags suck balls

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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