Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops