Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops