I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops