Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops