How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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