What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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