On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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