What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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stinky boner

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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