Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops