I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops