My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Robert Mugabe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops