"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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nothing

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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