A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Who wants water? I do.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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