Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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