a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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A man walks into a bar.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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knock knock go away

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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DERP

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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i have aids and a chode

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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