A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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