What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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