What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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