Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops