How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Man U

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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The Morman Religion.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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