Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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