How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Error 37.

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Andoni was here

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops