What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Smelly Indians.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops