What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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