A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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