NEVER

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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