A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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