Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

good looking women

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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