Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

there once was a black man who played basketball

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

Happy Monday!

hi mom

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...