I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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hi

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops