why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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