What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops