How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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